I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
