nut hugger
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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