jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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