1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Never underestimate the power of titties
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
