Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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