Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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