I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
