No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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