Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
