I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
