spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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