**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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