Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
