I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
