She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize