really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
