When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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