She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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