she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
