Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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