I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
