areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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