i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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