we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize