Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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