i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
