id be glad to
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
