hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
