I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
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