Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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