Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
