Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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