.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
