Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
