i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
nutella sex= disaster
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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