At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
