I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
soo... how was my night?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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