Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
