My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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