Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize