Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
