i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
