WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
