wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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