...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I believe in your delicious
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
