Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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