Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
