Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick

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(503): View more from Oregon

i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!

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(540): View more from Virginia

I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.

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(480): View more from Arizona

it's like russian roulette but with a penis

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(415): View more from California

I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".

(415): View more from California

good luck with that

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(406): View more from Montana

I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies

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(970): View more from Colorado

It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.

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(305): View more from Florida

He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!

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