I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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