Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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