I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
