She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
