i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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