either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
