I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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