sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
