Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
