i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
