She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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