Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
