just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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