I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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