fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
