WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
