I am in a vortex of obligation.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
