I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
