I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
