She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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