If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
