So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
