Whod you bang
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
