That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
