wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
