bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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