Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
